Do you have a knack for asking questions?

Do you listen more instead of speaking all the time?

Suppose you are at a party and people share some exciting facts; how much listening do you do out of curiosity?

Asking questions and active listening has become very important in modern times, but we forget the most crucial part. We should understand the reason why we want to get involved.

The real challenge these days is to remain unbiased and impartial. We all have our model of the world, and we interpret information based on our past knowledge, skills and experiences.

By asking questions, we usually clarify doubts and validate our understanding.

There is another hidden reason for asking questions: to create insights. Sometimes, when we hear the questions, our minds fit our experiences and understanding like a jigsaw puzzle. We begin to interpret our life differently and create insights that stay with us forever.

Enquiry creates insights and focuses on the deep meaning of the sentence.

Enquiry helps people to understand emotions and behaviours.

Enquiry provides deep learning that stays embedded within our unconscious.

We should start with reflective questions that rephrase our understanding of the context to begin inquiring.

The next step is to be patient while people understand and re-confirm what they say.

Listening for emotional and behavioural content is vital because they create curiosity. We get the actual response that creates change by questioning the specific emotion or behaviour.

Not all situations demand inquiry-based questioning, and it’s a good practice to ask for permission before starting. Sometimes we need to listen to understand. Our need to validate our thoughts and feelings don’t have to supersede the need for listening.

Use your best judgement to determine when to ask questions, when to enquire and when to listen.

How do you begin:

• Practice daily gratitude and be thankful for your knowledge, skills and experiences.
• Practice daily meditation and remain in charge of your emotions
• Practice thinking your thoughts and resisting the need to validate them all the time.
• Practice enquiry-based questioning to create insights and use your best judgement to ask questions that make win-win situations.

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Credits: Coach the Person, Not the Problem by Marcia Reynolds